the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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