So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
