So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
