They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
