What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
