Already got asked if we're dating
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
