We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I need water and some morals
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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