can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
