i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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