Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
