I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
