didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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