Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
