You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
