id be glad to
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You can't motorboat a personality
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
