He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
