dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
