I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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