There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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