i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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