I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
