what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
