Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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