Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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