he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
