hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
