carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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