Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
