TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
