I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
