soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
