I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
where am i from again
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
