I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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