What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
