i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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