dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
