It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
