Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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