If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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