K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
