the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
