i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
