i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
