I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
