Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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