I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
