Christians are straight up FREAKS
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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