Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
