He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
