So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
