I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
